THE CANNABIS ORDEAL. as told by my Friend

MY Experience With Cannabis (Igbo)
This happened some few years back.
I had just moved out of my friends house and
was sharing a room with a 'friend'. I had no idea
he smoked weed despite his suspicious
movement and signature weed aroma (abi smell?)
barely two weeks after moving in with him, my
worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing
home his weed smoking buddies and they would
occasionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there
in the room or mix the weed with beans or
spaghetti.
Being a curious person I always wondered what
made them happy after smoking. so I decided to
find out for my self (wrong move)
It was a very hot day in February, a Saturday i
think it was, my friend was out as usual. I
searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't
find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived
the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half
expecting to get mugged but nobody seemed to
be aware of my presence there, they were all on
different planets all expect one i concluded that
he must be the seller so i approached him and
the following conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi sha
(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i
didn't know that. I thought it was something very
large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny wrap
of weed with a white paper, i was suprised when
he gave me 950 as change. I couldn't beleive
weed was that cheap.
On my way home, i decided not to smoke it but
mix it with beans because i thought that it will be
better that way(another wrong move). Long story
short, i cooked beans and added the whole weed,
ate it and called my friend, i told him ogbeni i just
ate weed oo and nothing happened to me this one
that you people will eat and be feeling funky, i
don chop am oo. My friend was like ehen you be
strong man oo
I decided to take a quick nap before doing
laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the
floor i was banging my head on the floor, and i
couldn't stop, my heart beat was so audible and
fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud.
After a few minutes of head banging, i was able
to get up from the floor,
I felt as if i had just gained access to a part of
my mind that I never knew existed previously, it
was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel
the blood flowing in my veins(you have to
experience it to believe it. Though I strongly
advise against it) i felt so uncomfortable in the
room, it felt like i was in an oven suddenly a voice
in my head whispered ogbeni bo aso e joor (off
your clothes) i obeyed. The voice came again oya
sa re(now run) that was when i realised that the
weed had taken effect so i decided to take a
shower to see if it will calm me down, but the
water felt so hot on my skin so hot i ran out of
the bathroom.
I called my friend to see if he could help me make
sense of what was going on but he laughed at
me, he asked me the quantity of weed i took and
i told him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy
you don eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins,
you go mad oo go chemist make you go explain
yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a severe
itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go
away no matter how hard i scratched and i was
convinced that the beating in my chest was an
evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I
ran to my neighbour champion and told him
champion e jo e fun mi lese laya(champion pls
punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya
mo ma ku oo(if you don't punch me i will die oo)
he hissed and walked out having had enough of
such nonsense from the boys in the boys
quatters.
The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba
ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni(why don't you
punch yourself in the chest or do you want to
die?) i punched and punched but there was no
difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my
head was getting louder, the itch in my head was
getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was
getting louder. Then came the voice again oya ma
sare lo(start running) so i started running but on
getting outside in the sun, i felt so cold i was
shivering but that didn't stop me from running(i
would have given husain bolt a run for his money
on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was bare
footed, i told him i had a severe headache i
needed something to make me sleep immediately,
he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there in
his presence, next i asked him to give me a drug
for evil spirit, that was when he realised
something was wrong with me and chased me
out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart
beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time
around to a nurse in the area, first thing she
asked was kilode o wo bata ni? (why don't you
have your shoes on? I told her jackie chan ti gba
bata lowo mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i
was finally able to explain my situation to her
and she took me in, tied something around my
elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I
passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or
2am in the middle of the night with the worst
kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a
whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting
without butter or tea.
I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told
me e be like say your head no carry am but e go
better make you try am once more so you go dey
use to it. The following day while the house was
empty, I packed my Ghana must go and like the
prodigal son in the bible I went back home to my
parents. It's been a few years since that
experience but the lesson I learnt is an
unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me
in trouble again and my circle of friends have
since changed.
My Advice: Don't Ever Do Drugs.